电台启示。

Happiness does not come from purchasing power. It is just bring temporary satisfaction.
Happiness does come from experiencing and sharing through activities. It is long lasting satisfaction.

When woman comes to love. She does not care how was her loves one worse like. She is just giving all away herself like nobody does. It is normal when comes to love and will realize it is foolish when out of love. See, nobody is fool until giving our very own. So, quit from the love game, seek what is deep down inside of our mind. Be yourselves.

26-05-12

第三者。

看着《志明与春娇》续集。

看到他们之间的第三者勾引的手段,刹时火爆!
去滚吧,炒蛋。

她的姐妹讲:“人生那么长,总会爱上一些人渣的。”
好句!好姊妹!

好料收好。

21-05-12

王菲 《暗涌》

王菲 《暗涌》

就算天空再深 看不出裂痕
眉头仍聚满密云 就算一屋暗灯
照不穿我身 仍可反映你心
让这口烟跳升 我身躯下沉
曾多么想多么想贴近
你的心和眼 口和耳亦没缘份
我都捉不紧

害怕悲剧重演 我的命中命中
越美丽的东西我越不可碰
历史在重演 这么烦嚣城中
没理由相恋可以没有暗涌
其实我再去爱惜 你又有何用
难道这次我抱紧你 未必落空

仍静候着你说我别错用神
什么我都有预感
然后睁不开两眼 看命运光临
然后天空又再涌起密云

20-05-12



当下,你给得到。
我知道。

承诺,我给不到。
你知道。

我不知道你知不知道。
接下来的事,我不知道。
你的手正蒙上我的双眼。 
然后天空又再涌起密云。

头发。

“这一生。”
陈峰的这句话激起了脑海里的涟漪。

-选择的智慧。
-爱自己。
-爱惜健康的身体可以替你完成你想做的事。

拨一拨头发,记住这个触感。

记得
孩童时头发的触感
十多岁时头发的触感

当我老了
我仍然会拨一拨头发
触感或许不再
也许会因此而有点感触
但我希望头发这一生的感受是 满足的

19-05-12

阿桑 《叶子》

阿桑 《叶子》
 
叶子是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀是落在天上的叶子

天堂原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘 当初怎么开始飞翔

孤单是一个人的狂欢
狂欢是一群人的孤单

爱情原来的开始是陪伴

但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴

我一个人吃饭旅行到处走走停停
也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心

只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清

我想我不仅仅是失去你


18-05-12
凌晨两点,on the radio。 
这是我很怕听到的其中一首歌。不小心听了,听了‘不小心’。
记忆回到2003年。

一缕烟。

足不出户。不接来电。意兴阑珊。

需求和欲望一降再降,直到不需与外界连接。

第五行人格正步入恶性循环的阶段。

生命,像缕烟那样散去。一枪之后。

16-05-12

无所事事。

刚一鼓作气奔去学院想拿纸正式宣战,结果是很令我郁闷的,负责人madam回家了。在座的人说那些纸madam锁起来了,明天再来,然后抛出天真的微笑。啊~我能怎么样?道谢返回。

路上所见的学院生,个个的穿着正尝试迈向自信的成功人士。梦想再大又怎样,迟早都要向现实低头,除非你是那独特的几巴仙命数,又或是到那时已经满足于当下而中途选择安顿。 Anyway,前年某人的杯,给了我提示,“把目标射向月亮,即使到最后不中标,那还是会击中星星”。跑吧!轻狂的年轻人们,抱着积极与美好的心,世界因你们而美。

在某店看到Beyonce Live At Roseland DVD,很开心,原以为和我在youtube看的一样,其实不是,应该更加的精彩。J在美国看到它的影子,想都没想就直接买了下来,我超开心的!很期待!我们说好要一起看~想到都想跳起来呼喊啊~

去书店逛,拿起书一翻,差不多过了半小时。只看了财经杂志,因为我的目的是略看财经。屋价越涨越高,市区离谱的高。政府推出的廉价屋,好便宜,希望申请得到,申请得到的话,希望可以批我买下三间,但是是不可能的啦。屋子除了买在吉隆坡,槟城。其实,怡保,马六甲也不错的,有额外的能力的话再看看。看看股票刊物,只要平均投资(不需烦着等它何时跌才买入),年结算自己买了几个lot,效果是理想的。报酬率。。。一种股年年时高时低,心理会很不平衡的,所以把风险分散,选择适合自己的投资组合。要不断地告诉自己不要贪心,是投资,不是玩投机。

GD系的学生,穿着醒目,有型有格,崇拜名牌,做事务求除了快,再快,更加快。
FA系的学生,非常FA,生活化,感性,纯朴,温雅,不慌不忙,极度低调,来去如风。
IL系的学生,是GD和FA的混合体,风格一团乱,各有各的精彩,各有千秋。
ANI系的学生,过分忙,毕业前和毕业时的look是差不远的,多数实力确是pro级。
MC系的学生,花枝招展,外向,外向,外向。。。

我?在龙蛇混杂的IL系咯。是条虎头蛇。

14-05-12

昨晚发的梦。

昨晚是本月以来最早睡的一晚,1230am-730am.


大树之梦。不宽广但极深长的空间,左右两面是落地玻璃,一棵棵又老又粗的大树分散在中间排列整齐,位置似乎位于二楼,因为只看到大树中间的枝干部位,所以树根应该在一楼,树叶在三楼,而二楼地面尽是枯黄树叶。阳光普照,飞机在外有一架起飞,有一架降落。安稳的幸福感。

E的迷思。一起在戏院看戏。结束后,我一人在广场最外的路边推着手推车放回原位,然后往外走。往右看,看见爸爸在对街的餐馆正拿起椅子欲坐下,很是惊讶,因为是深夜了,正叫他的是他哥哥,他们似乎发现了我,但我还是走着下去,往租来的房子去。画面一跳,跃入我坐上E的车,很是惊讶,然后稍微重复那晚坐在他车上发生过的事,附加他的招牌微笑。泼墨渲染于水中央般的悲感。

13-05-12

世界好‘妙’小

眼睁睁看着A和B在一起。我见过B,也懂A是谁。A和B忽然温柔不再。后来A和C在一起。C是我的良师益友。而我知道B认识了D。我和D在一起。后来A和C情难再续。再后来我和D情悲难堪。A和E在一起。B好像得不到D。D失踪。C接下来对谁有意。ABCDE。。。

我和O是好朋友。我懂P是谁。O认识了好朋友P。我懂Q是谁。P后来和Q在一起。我曾经帮过R做东西。R和O是朋友,也是P的朋友。O时不时会跟我提起P,我则时不时提起好朋友S。S是因为认识O而认识的。S和T在一起。T和D有很大的可能是认识的。OPQRST。。。ABCDE。。。

我和H较熟,后来认识了好朋友I。H和I是好朋友。在认识H之前和J有往来。后来H和J在一起。以前我和K,L,M熟,后来失去联络。后来认识的好朋友I和K及L成了好朋友。M是我后来联络回的知己。M和K是好朋友。这将是一团失散的好朋友。。。HIJKLM。。。

我和V是知己。W是我的好老友。因为我V和W成了有趣的朋友。V喜欢X不成。我和朋友X失散多年。X和I成了好朋友。X向I诉苦V。V和I其实是朋友。我从I得知X的情况亦发觉V的不妥。我知道W喜欢V。V说和W是不成的。X说和V是不成的。V和M是小学中学同学,也是我偶然认识的知己。W和J是同一大伙。这有一部分是密友团和苦情单身团。。。VWX。。。HIJKLM。。。

我和私密小伙因成长而友谊不纯。后来认识了新朋友,组成了大伙。成员以宫廷人称,有了另一半1。孩子2,3,4。叔叔5。神仙6,7。后来加入了第三者8,妹妹9。其实还有10。1和4,5,6,7是深交。2失踪。我只和5谈私密。6和7是深交。3,8和10是好朋友。9是我喜欢赖的朋友。10是我的同乡。一年总有一次大集合,偶尔会有出现其他的旧面孔。宫廷男人帮。12345678910。。。

这样子的大略写出来,虽然还有另一些帮派没写,但发觉自己以前种下了许多的种子,感觉还蛮温馨的,但我坚持少露面。帮派:美人帮(谈秘笈),男人帮(谈财经),密友帮(谈秘密),才华帮(谈成就)。。。我没秘笈,财经,成就可以摊来谈,所以会多出现在密友帮。

12-05-12

流血。

这一个月内,流鼻血两次。撞门擦伤肩膀一次。鼻头因为老成的痘痘流血。脚趾头流血一次。小腿小伤口一个。不懂为什么,我总觉得自己很危险,不管身在何处,都没有敏感的危险意识。淡定,也可以讲是冷漠,甚至漠视自己。

Anyway,流血前流血后的我,还是我啊。

12-05-12

VERY FEEL week19

(冠军)Rebecca Ferguson - Too Good To Lose
★好。

(亚军)Rebecca Ferguson - Run Free
★好。

(季军)Rebecca Ferguson - Wicked Game 
★听得我起鸡皮疙瘩。

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger 
★ Doesn't I'm lonely when I'm alone.

Fun - We Are Young 
★ 浓厚的玩味。

仓木麻衣 - Strong Heart
stand up, all the people now. (我听错成“all the people die”)

SHINee - Sherlock
★ 没什么营养,但听得挺爽的咯。

11-05-12

穷出本能。

我现在真的很穷。为了糊口饭吃,当然不卖身,逼不得已再算,武装好自己,戴好面具,把面子都贴在金主和牵线人,以退为近,以和为贵。能成不成朋友,再看。
路人关系:(工作伙伴是伙伴关系。朋友关系有朋友的界限。);
很珍惜的关系:(好朋友关系就有特殊关系。知己关系有隐蔽的默契。)

定义越清晰,行动越果断。你要的是什么我给什么,我要的是什么你给什么,没额外的什么。你以为你是谁,我以为我是谁,以为以为,大家只不过是苟且中的谁。不管怎么样,那是为了针对人的生活顺畅而给所有模糊关系下的定义;对于事物上,只要出发点是好的,那就无大碍。额外的,就做善事积福积阴德。

11-05-12

Rebecca Ferguson

About Rebecca Ferguson

2nd December 2011
If pop music is infinitely surprising then the often circuitous route that brings a major star to our attention is surely exemplified in the wonderful Rebecca Ferguson.
Just over a year ago, this painfully shy, woefully under confident single mother of two was shown auditioning for The X Factor. In what is surely one of the best audition sequences ever shown on the programme, her story of dignified resignation – pregnant at 17, then again at 19, with no money and little hope – struck a chord with the nation. It seemed that this was a voice destined never to be heard. Then she opened her mouth and her stunningly raw rendition of Sam Cooke’s classic “A Change Is Gonna Come” set the bar on the show, oh, just a million miles higher….
It’s immaterial that she came second on the show – perhaps even preferable, as it has meant that the last year has allowed this Liverpudlian world-class singer/songwriter to hone her writing skills and to channel that remarkable soul voice into a selection of songs that will establish this 25 year old as the voice of her generation, and a global superstar.
With a writing skill that belies her years, Rebecca Ferguson’s debut album does not pander to fashion. It’s not a hybrid of every current hip musical genre, shaken around a bit and mixed into an amorphous lump. This is soul; raw emotion pours out of every fibre of every note making the others sound… ordinary. Fiercely proud of her working class Liverpool roots, Rebecca’s route here hasn’t been an easy one, but it’s given her a dignified fighting spirit, which bursts through her lyrics and informs the path she hopes her career will follow. Basically, she is a true artist, in it for the long haul.
Until now all Rebecca’s admirers have had are her TV appearances. That audition of ‘A Change Is Gonna Come’ has had 2.9million views alone on YouTube, whilst her inspired renditions of Eurythmics’ ‘Sweet Dreams’, Chris Isaac’s ‘Wicked Game’ and Candi Staton’s ‘You Got The Love’ showed that her range of influences was stunningly diverse. But the show itself gave Rebecca something that money can’t buy. “It completely changed me as a person. I’m strong now. Singing used to just be a dream, now it’s my focus. I had begun to give up hope and then the show happened and now, with this first album, I just wanted to get to a point where my voice and my songs are as good as they can possibly be”.
It got her here, to her first single, ‘Nothing’s Real But Love’; passionate yet displaying the control that only a great singer can muster, the subject is one close to Rebecca’s heart - what’s really important in life - “No money, no house, no car, can beat love.”
“People used to say to me ‘Being rich doesn’t make you happy, Rebecca’’’ she says. “And I’d think I’ve got no electricity, nothing - tell that to my empty fridge. But now I’m doing okay, I realise, they were right. It doesn’t matter what you’ve got, as long as you’ve got love. I know that sounds cheesy, but that’s everything”.
It’s a theme continued on much of her searingly honest debut album. “I spilled my soul out. A lot of it comes from writing about relationships I’ve been in, so I think everyone can probably relate to the lyrics – we’ve all been there.” A self-confessed perfectionist, Rebecca, who has always written her own material, wrote a song every day for months. “People just made an assumption, ‘She came off The X Factor she won’t be able to write.  We’ll just write her songs.’  Then as time passed they realised, ‘Oh, she can actually do this!’”
Working with a roll call of song-writer/producers including Eg White (Adele, James Morrison, Duffy) Fraser T Smith (N-Dubz, Tinchy Stryder, Cee Lo Green) and Claude Kelly in New York (Britney, Whitney Houston, Jessie J) Rebecca has bared her soul, and admits creating it wasn’t always easy. “Some days in the studio I’d been crying and say ‘Ok I’ve had a really bad week, I’m not going to lie but we’re going to write about it, and hopefully something good can come out of that. Someone can listen to it, and think, ‘She’s been there too. She knows how I feel.’”
Created over the last 11 months the album is a highly accomplished and timeless piece of work; from the sweet pared back piano led ‘Teach me How to Be Loved’ to the big band sound of ‘Fairytale’, Rebecca’s voice soars effortlessly. And if ‘Shoulder To Shoulder’ doesn’t make you cry then there must be androids amongst us….
Whilst her direct musical influences are soul based, a quick arbitrary scroll through her iPod veers between;  Ben Howard, Ray Charles, Bombay Bicycle Club, Tupac, Sam Cooke, Nina Simone, Stevie Wonder, Florence and The Machine, Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj and, of course, Adele.  “She’s been such a support and said such lovely things about me,” she says of her fellow chanteuse. “She even admitted she voted for me 80 times when I was on the show. She means every word she sings, which I love.”
At times still shy, but with a surprisingly big laugh, creating this album has also rewarded Rebecca with a new level of assertiveness and self-belief, “I refused to re-vocal some of the songs on the album. I meant every word of those songs when I sang them, and I’m not going to do them again, and not mean it. I don’t care if that makes me sound like a diva.”
Growing up in a chaotic one-parent household, life was far from diva-ish. With three brothers and two sisters, music was an escape for Rebecca, “I didn’t have a very easy childhood to be honest and to get away from that I dreamt my life away; dreamt of singing.” Even from a tiny girl Rebecca could see her future, “I used to write songs age three,” she laughs, “There’s pads and pads of lyrics I wrote as a teenager at my mum’s house.”
Although well behaved, she admits she didn’t enjoy school; always wondering why she was there, when she knew her musical destiny. One that wasn’t going to be easy to get to, “My mum was really strict and I was only allowed to listen to Christian music. But I remember one of her friends who knew I loved singing giving me two tapes - Cher and Whitney Houston. I’d sit there for hours and hours listening to those two albums on repeat.”
There wasn’t any money to spare for Rebecca to follow her passion for singing, so at 14 she got a job in a clothes shop to pay for singing lessons. Performing Arts College followed, but then at 17, everything changed when she got pregnant with her first child Lillie May, followed by Karl two years later.  “People would say to me, ‘Well your life’s ruined now!’ For a while I started to believe it, but you don’t have to get rid of your dreams just because you have kids. They’ve just pushed me to succeed, to want to do better for them. And for me.”
Incredibly humble, but with an eye trained firmly on the future, her potential is vast. “I am very proud of this album. It wasn’t easy to write and I poured that much of myself into it that if people don’t like it, it’ll be hard; but I’ll take that on the chin,” she says. “As long as people can say ‘I believed what she was saying’, that’s the ultimate.”

07-05-12

VERY FEEL week18

Rebecca Ferguson

(冠军)Rebecca Ferguson - Nothing's Real But Love
★两个字,‘经典’!Channel Mtv一播,马上冲出房间探探这把声音是谁,真的很有魅力,鸡皮疙瘩掉满地。歌词很赞。 "I guess this world's not always good. Nothing's real but love,
no house, no car, no job, can beat love."

(亚军)Rebecca Ferguson - Glitter And Gold
★歌词和mv都很好。X factor出来的Rebecca加油,你会很红的。希望不会像Adele那样红到渐渐走样。你真美。

(季军)Rebecca Ferguson - Too Good To Lose
★Rebecca你的声音真有魅力,很称我心。听了心境开朗。歌词很好。

(殿军)Rebecca Ferguson - Run Free
★Rebecca的声音总是可以传到脑的顶端共鸣。喜欢喜欢喜欢。“I used to know a girl, who had a dream. Her head full of ambition, her heart filled with pain. Walking the same walk, seeing the same faces. Wishing she could, trade places.”

Rebecca Ferguson - Wicked Game
★Rebecca, I Love You, please sing some more, anticipating.
开场第一句"The world was on fire and no one could save me but you..."

Rebecca Ferguson - Fighting Suspicions
★Rebecca魅力无穷。“Fighting suspicions, lady's intuitions. Why, I don’t need it, cause it’s not what I want to hear. So I put you on my altar, crown you like a sultan. And praise you for every lie that drips from your lips.”

Rebecca Ferguson - Teach Me How To Be Loved
★静静的听,慢慢地去感受。“If I make myself like a feather in you hand and put my trust in love, please don't hurt me.”

Rebecca Ferguson - Diamond To Stone
好歌。 

Rebecca Ferguson - Shoulder To Shoulder
★"I've realized that real love is free."

Rebecca Ferguson - Fairytale



06-05-12
week of Rebecca Ferguson

深夜深谈。

和好朋友深谈,获益良多。Dear你改变了很多,你很棒。人无完美,我们一起加油。

厘清了我和父母之间的关系,虽然现在不能完全接受,但我知道我需要改变自己,需要经济独立,全权掌握自己的时间,拥有自己空间,最后是有能力的给予回馈(这是我选择的表现方式,也是表现自己无须让人操心操肺)。决定一

未来计划,我们确实是迟了,但也不是很迟。刚好我前几个星期看了一些书,除了恍然大悟,还多了一些理财概念,并可以粗略地计算,谈谈了之后,我想我应该没那个勇气选择梦想之路,所以选择稳扎稳打(以后是会变得有点钱,可是真的希望自己是不后悔的,但经历十年的认真奋斗,我相信自己的造化,总有机遇)。决定二

感情,有苦亦有甜,能促使成长。爱情,可遇不可求。顺其自然就好。真的,明白的,都是过来人。爱情,是生命中的一小部分,说不堪回首,往回看,其实很精彩。亲情与友情,要好好的保持着,是精神上的满足来源,是主要的。不是说爱情没有举足轻重的分量,我觉得,能共步走到婚姻再说吧。乐于单身,很享受与朋友们之间的关系带来的满足,当然有时候会想有个伴,就是那么样。是情人(亲密关系)也是朋友(沟通),这是理想的。可遇不可求,顺其自然就好。决定三

06-05-12

离家出走。

那是什么陌生地方,什么样的陌生人。
那里是那么自以为是的陌生圈。
什么家产分不分给我,我从来没奢望过,我根本没想过从任何人的身上得到什么。
什么也罢,你还是养条狗好得多,一切如你所愿。
我承认我有错,那你认为我应该体谅你的错。
对不起,我已经习惯了你们以往十几年的相处模式了,别再掰了,只会令我难受。
我表面是极奇冷漠,但内心对你们有感情,
我喜欢安逸,任何大事小事,事不关己就好。 但紧要关头,必定献身。
我是怎么样的一个人,你们清楚不清楚,我不知道。
你们的心地如何,我知道。然而你要逼我走到这一步,我真的不想回。
离家出走,志在必得。请你养条狗,家产分给它。

05-05-12

政府医院 part II

阔别两个月,急急忙赶去领验血报告。当下心情糟透。

The result described in two sentences, total word is less then ten words, what?! Halo, is this my result? What about the rest? I mean details, at least I can know my blood type, right? Duh... What the heck I was expecting on government hospital will analysis all the things with RM1 in two months, it should take two hundred years, I bet. That's why all of my friends suggest me to private hospital.

好,领好报告,见医生去。本还以为会碰见上回的两名医生,这回见的是很实习的实习医生。好,人人都有第一次,我们人本来不知道的事多得很,不知道就是不知道,别充胖子/装瘦子,我也不过如此。说refer大医院。好,马上去。。。

到大医院。领着refer的冥纸,开始穿梭在使人丧失方向感的医院。问了三个人,一个guard,两个reception。他们看了我的纸都好像领了半字天书,稍微深锁眉头,显示出不理解,然后打电话。好吧,是我方向感很差,还有我应该是得了怪病吧。跟reception的人指引,来到了pusat pembedahan(手术室)。。。(O/S:诶,你们是不是搞错了,那么快?我还很年轻下的叻)

插曲“不要问我从哪里来,我的故乡在远方。。。流浪。。。”

结果,由于该医院不具备我需要的专科医师,所以再refer到serdang政府医院做预约。
我需要 神经专科医师。真的。

04-05-12

To Dearest Friend

亲爱的,我知道。谢谢你。
你懂我指的是你。

喂~怎么功力增强了那么的多,似乎越来越看得透我,我害羞呐~
不要那么快回国啊。。。因为你每次回来都会有突发事件在我身上啊。。。

04-05-12

‘Package’ in mind

发觉原来自己的这一行可以是一种投资,但尚不知价值的衡量是如何。当然,件件都是呕心沥血产的宝贝,会很舍不得脱手。偶然读到因某些人的品味愿意对合眼缘的出价xxx~8k。这是我从来都没想过,我只知道有个老师的作品给人开价到10k也不卖,可见我见不了可见的点。这一行可以很莫名其妙,但不要妙想天开,稳扎稳打,步步为营,按部就班,step by step,strictly no shortcut。Those works are represent who you are, what you see, what you feel and what you wanted to tell.

我还没毕业,现在迷失中(超浪费时间,但不断往内挖掘,自觉自己成长不少)。还有最后一个学期,我需要准备好脑和手,再度回到学院好好把握机会运用里面所有的资源,lecturer们,我不会放过你们的。

有很多的路需要铺好,辛苦是必然的,舒服是留给死人的(有点别扭这个句子,但真讨喜)。毕业出来薪水1.5k至1.8k(我不抱有超过2k的期望,毕竟是fresh grad)。六个月后开始供屋子(感谢)。2年后经历有或无跳槽都有望2k至3k。间中接freelance。累积储蓄作投资,狠狠地供断房贷。然后further study著名的皇家课程(这会彻底改变未来)。接下来,呵呵呵,但愿会发生比我原计划还来得好的事。

欲产的系列:
‘Blinded’ 这是主角,但感觉可能会不怎么顺利,也许不够原料,入世尚浅。
‘BlackPaw’ 纯粹是练习过程产物,也许会有意外。
‘牡丹猪’ 这很有潜能!比较大众化,比较合大众眼缘,可以很商业化。
‘1+0’ 这虽然没定型,但是是感性的,也有的会是性感,是具有感染能力的。

然而,我觉得还需准备多一个系列,是纯商业的。但,担心会变得看起来很不专,没记忆点。从Blinded sub出来比较好。嗯,就这么办。
AGAIN:“不要妙想天开,稳扎稳打,步步为营,按部就班,step by step,strictly no shortcut。”

02-05-12

寿险保客必读 - 揭开寿险代理的一切夸大、隐瞒、误导、欺诈的销售手段

寿险保客必读 - 揭开寿险代理的一切夸大、隐瞒、误导、欺诈的销售手段
http://bohtahche.blogspot.com/

02-05-12